So Obnoxious :30 Girl: Hi. I'm a believably attractive 18-24 year old female. You can relate to me because I'm racially ambiguous. And I'm in this tampon commercial because market research shows girls like you, love girls like me. Don't all these angles make me seem dynamic? Now I'm going to tell you to buy something. Buy the same tampons I use. Because I'm wearing white pants, and I have good hair… and you wish you could be me. Super: Why are tampon ads so obnoxious? Packshot Super: Break the cycle. Anncr. (VO): U by Kotex. A new line of tampons, pads and liners. "Frank Conversation" :30 (Open on a mother and daughter walking on a beach) Daughter: Mom, can I talk to you about my period? Mom: Of course, but since this is a TV commercial, I’ll have to use confusing metaphors. If I want to explain where a tampon goes, I can’t say the word that rhymes with the serious medical condition, angina. But I can talk about going “down under,” so long as “down under” definitively refers to Australia. Daughter: But that makes no… Mom: Sense? No, it doesn’t. Let’s talk about these pretty sea shells. Daughter: I love sea shells! Super: Why can’t tampon ads get real? Anncr. (VO): U b Kotex. A new line of tampons, pads and liners. "Apology" :30 SFX: Cheesy piano-driven music plays throughout. Girl: (Sarcastically) How do I feel about my period? Uh. We're like... we're like this. I love it. Girl: I wanna hold really soft things like my cat. (Cut to cat) SFX: Cat snarls. Girl: I like to twirl. (Cut to girl twirling) Girl: Maybe in slow motion. (Cut to girl twirling in slow motion) Girl: And usually, by the third day, I really just wanna dance. (Cut to girl leaping) Girl: The ads on TV are really helpful 'cause they use that blue liquid and I'm like, "Oh, that's what's supposed to happen." (Cut to pads with hand pouring on blue liquid) Super: Why are tampon ads so ridiculous? Packshot Super: Break the cycle Anncr (VO): U by Kotex. A new line of tampons, pads and liners.