1 (series) "Pete" :60 Woman announcer: Meet Pete. Pete is very successful … at being unemployed. Pete has a gaze made for restraining orders. His dance moves resemble seizures. None of Pete's jokes have ever been retold. Even his imaginary friends dislike him. Pete has no hair. Yet he still has dandruff. His body language requires subtitles. His back has five o'clock shadow. His left man-boob is bigger than his right man-boob. But despite all this, Pete gets more action than just about anyone. And that's because he never leaves home without minty-fresh breath. Or …his … eye patch. Woman Anncr.: Good breath is a good move, even when it's your only move. Scope Mouthwash. Courage encouraged. "Kenny" :60 Woman announcer: Meet Kenny. Kenny snores while he's awake. His smile makes clowns sad. His bicep is technically more of a uni-cep. When Kenny went through puberty, his voice actually got higher. When he "gets busy" it's usually writing code. Not even his cousin would marry him … and yes, he has asked. Kenny's wink is a by-product of his lazy eye. His hunchback isn't nearly as noticeable as his hunchfront. His comb-over is 94 percent ear hair. But despite all this, Kenny gets more action than just about anyone. And that's because he never leaves home without minty-fresh breath. Or… his… ant farm. Woman Anncr.: Good breath is a good move, even when it's your only move. Scope. Courage encouraged. "Brandon" :60 Woman Announcer: Meet Brandon. Brandon is an only child. But not his parent's favorite. Brandon's skin reminds you of braille. His laugh lingers like a car alarm. If you think he makes a bad first impression, you should see his second. Brandon's personal style is best described as "laundry day." Even stuffed animals refuse to sleep with him. Brandon thinks washing hands is for employees only. His wart asked to have him removed. The only thing creepier than his mustache is his Internet browser history. But despite all this, Brandon gets more action than just about anyone. And that's because he never leaves home without minty-fresh breath. Or… his... cape. Woman Anncr.: Good breath is a good move, even when it's your only move. Scope. Courage encouraged.