HULU
"ALEC IN HULUWOOD"
:60 TV

FADE IN
ON A DRAMATIC AERIAL SHOT SWOOPING DOWN TOWARD THE WHITE 'H' ON THE HOLLYWOOD SIGN.

STANDING AT THE FOOT OF THE BIG 'H' IS A SMILING ALEC BALDWIN.

ALEC(to camera): Hello Earth. I'm Alec Baldwin. (finger quotes) "TV Star".

ALEC HITS A BUTTON ON THE 'H' AND A SECRET DOOR WOOSHES OPENS LEADING TO AN ELEVATOR. ALEC STEPS IN AND THE DESCENT BEGINS.
SOUND FX: WHIRRR OF RAPIDLY-DESCENDING ELEVATOR CAR.

ALEC: You know, it's been said that television will rot your brain. (chuckling) That's absurd.

THE ELEVATOR DOOR OPENS AND ALEC STEPS OUT.

ALEC: Our research shows that TV only softens the brain. Like a ripe banana. To take it the rest of the way…

ALEC IS NOW IN SOME SUPER-SOPHISTICATED COMPOUND FILLED WITH FUTURISTIC SCREENS AND DISPLAYS. IT'S THE HULU COMPOUND. ALEC GESTURES GRANDLY AT THE SET UP.

ALEC: …we've created "Hulu".

CUT TO A SHOT OF THE HULU LOGO ON A BIG SCREEN. WE SEE DOZENS AND DOZENS OF HIT SHOWS PLAYING IN SMALL SCREENS SURROUNDING IT.

ALEC: Hulu beams TV directly to your "portable computing devices". Giving you more of the cerebral-gelatinizing shows you want. Anytime. Anywhere. For free.

ALEC GESTURES TOWARD A SIDE ROOM THAT CONTAINS A MALE HUMAN "SUBJECT" STARING, TRANSFIXED, AT A COMPUTER SCREE. THE MAN IS GIGGLING AT AN EPISODE OF "30 ROCK" (OR ANY OTHER OF THE SHOWS FEATURED ON HULU) THAT'S PLAYING ON HULU.

MAN: Heh-heh, heh-heh….

CUT TO A COMPUTER SCREEN THAT SHOWS A HEAT SCAN OF THE MAN'S BRAIN. IT'S GLOWING RED. CUT TO ALEC WHO'S SMILING WITH GLEE.

ALEC: Mmmmm…Mushy mush.

ALEC TURNS BACK TO CAMERA.

ALEC: Best part is there's no way you can stop it. I mean what are you going to do? Turn off your tv and your computer? (hearty laugh)

WE INTERCUT ALEC'S BIG LAUGH WITH THE INANE GIGGLNG OF THE SUBJECT. BACK AND FORTH, BUILDING IN TEMPO…THEN, ALEC SUDDENLY TURNS TO CAMERA, SUDDENLY SWITCHING GEARS INTO A SERIOUS MODE.

ALEC (suddenly serious): Once your brains are reduced to a cottage cheese-like mush, we'll scoop them out with a melon baller and gobble them right on up. Oops, I think I'm drooling a little.

AS DROOL APPEARS ON HIS LOWER LIP, A SCALY, ALIEN TENTACLE SUDDENLY REACHES UP FROM BEHIND ALEC AND PLUCKS A HANKERCHIEF OUT OF HIS BREAST POCKET. IT GENTLY DABS THE DROOL FROM ALEC'S MOUTH AND HE JUST SMILES.

ALEC: Because, we're aliens….. and that's how we roll.

LOGO + SUPER/V.O.: Hulu. An evil plot to destroy the world. Enjoy.

HULU
"SETH'S GIGGITY GOO"
:45 TV


FADE IN
OPEN ON A DRAMATIC AERIAL SHOT SWOOPING DOWN TOWARD A STUDIO BUILDING IN LOS ANGELES.

IN A CHAIR SITS SETH MACFARLANE'S IN HIS OFFICE. SETH SUDDENLY SPINS AROUND LIKE THE EVIL GENIUS IN A BOND FILM AND ADDRESSES CAMERA.

SETH (to camera): Greetings, earth friends. I'm Seth MacFarlane. You know the next time someone says "TV rots your brain", laugh. Laugh hard.

SETH GETS OUT OF HIS CHAIR AND TURNS THE LIGHT OFF.
CUT TO A DIGITAL ARTIST ANIMATING AN IMAGE OF STEWIE ON A COMPUTER SCREEN.

SETH (as Stewie): That laughter will force our televised intoxicants deep into your cerebellum slowly rotting it into a quivering blob of tapioca.

SETH BEGINS TO WALK DOWN A HALLWAY, PUTTING ON HIS COAT. AS HE SPEAKS, HE EFFORTLESSLY SWITCHES BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN CHARACTER VOICES.

SETH: (suddenly Peter) Yeah and to finish it off we've got Hulu. Hulu blasts enough free TV to your lappity-toppity boxes (as Quagmire) to turn your chunky grey matter into creamy goo matter.

CLOSE UP ON THE SECURITY GUARD WATCHING AN EPISODE OF "FAMILY GUY" ON HIS LAPTOP. SETH STOPS AND THEN SITS ON THE DESK OF THE SECURITY GUARD SEATED IN THE HALLWAY.

MAN: laughing (peter griffin voice).

WE INTERCUT SETH'S LAUGH WITH THE INANE GIGGLNG OF THE SUBJECT. BACK AND FORTH THEN, SETH SUDDENLY TURNS TO CAMERA.

SETH: Lauhing. Mmmm giggity. Giggity, giggity, goo.

SETH STARES HUNGRILY AT THE MAN. SETH THEN REACHES DOWN AND GRABS A CANDY AND PLACES IN HIS MOUTH. THEN HE GENTLY LIFTS UP HIS TEE-SHIRT EXPOSING A SMALL, ALIEN MOUTH EMBEDDED IN HIS STOMACH. THE ALIEN THEN HAS THE CANDY AND SPITS IT ON THE DESK.

SETH : Because we're aliens. SETH'S STOMACH MOUTH: and that's our gig.

ALEC BALDWIN VO + SUPER: Hulu. An evil plot to destroy the world. Enjoy.

HULU
"THE LEARY MISSION"
:60 TV

OPEN ON A RED TRUCK SCREECHING TO A HALT IN FRONT OF A NYC FIRE STATION. DENIS LEARY LEAPS OUT AND STARTS WALKING PURPOSEFULLY TOWARDS CAMERA, FIRING DIALOGUE AT US IN HIS TRADEMARK, RAPID-FIRE STYLE. OVER THE TRUCK LOUDSPEAKER YOU CAN HEAR DENIS SAYING "HEY. UH!"

DENIS: C'mere. Time for a little "come-to-Denis" meeting.

THE CAMERA PULLS BACK TO REVEAL DENIS IS ACTUALLY MARCHING THROUGH THE SET OF HIS SHOW "RESCUE ME." VARIOUS CREW MEMBERS AND EXTRAS ARE WALKING AROUND, PREPPING THE FIREHOUSE FOR THE NEXT SCENE. DENIS CONTINUES HIS TYPICALLY INTENSE RANT.

DENIS: Your parents were right. Your teachers were right. Even that creepy scoutmaster in the tight brown shorts was right. TV is slowly "rotting" your brain into a slimy, gooey, mushy blob of pudding . And there's nothing you can do about it. See? I just told you what's happening and you're still watching TV. (shake of the head) Amazing.

DENIS WALKS THROUGH THE FIREHOUSE GARAGE, PAST LOTS OF PROPS FOR THE SHOW AND OVER TO A SMALL "VIDEO VILLAGE" ON THE EDGE OF THE WORKING SET. A ROW OF PERSONAL ASSISTANTS ARE SITTING IN THE FOLDING CHAIRS, STARING BLANKLY AT A THEIR LAPTOP COMPUTERS. ONE IS WATCHING AN EPISODE OF "RESCUE ME" ON HULU. THE OTHER, "SNL" ON HULU TOO.

DENIS: But this whole "slowly" part is gettin' to be a real problem. Well guess what?—HU-LU. We built Hulu to pump (manipulating heads as described below) hours of free TV right to the one screen you drag around everywhere. Heh (Jabs a hard finger out towards the camera).

DENIS PALMS THEIR TWO STYLISHLY COIFFED HEADS (FAUX HAWK AND BLONDE SURFER HAIR? OR SIMILAR IN SHARP CONTRAST TO DENIS) AND JERKS THEIR HEADS BACK AND FORTH TO PUNCTUATE THE POINTS HE'S MAKING. THEIR EYES NEVER LEAVE THE SCREENS.

DENIS: So, I need you to take your stubby little human fingers and hit this button on Hulu.

REACHING OVER TOP ONE OF THE GUY WHO'S CLEARLY TRANSFIXED, HE MANIPULATES HIS LIMP HAND TO HIT THE " EMBED" BUTTON ONSCREEN .WE SEE THE HULU INTERACE ONSCREEN AS HE DOES THIS.

DENIS: Then you can share those TV shows in your, bliggity blogs, your Facey Spaces and your Tweety pages. For all your bookworm-y, anti-boob-tube-y friends.

INTENSE CLOSE UP AS DENIS TURNS TO CAMERA.

DENIS: See, here's the deal…. help us churn their finely-cultured skull beef down into the aforementioned pudding– and we'll slurp out yours… last. Eh? Yeh.

DENIS STANDS UP BEHIND ONE OF THE GUYS AND POINTS HIS INDEX FINGER AT THE GUY'S EAR. A LONG, SKINNY, RIGID GREEN ALIEN FINGERS PUNCHES THROUGH THE HUMAN SKIN ON THE FINGERTIP. (LIKE A STRAW POKING OUT OF A WRAPPER) WHICH QUICKLY PLUNGES INOT THE VICTIM'S EAR CANAL TO TEST HIS BRAIN. (CONSIDER IT ALIEN-DENIS' LITTLE BUILT-IN MEAT THERMOMETER.)

DENIS: Because we're aliens.

DENIS YANKS THE ALIEN FINGER OUT OF THE GUY'S EAR CANAL AND INSPECTS THE TIP FOR A QUICK MOMENT.

DENIS: And you ain't soup yet.

DENIS HOLDS THE INDEX FINGER UPWARD IN FRONT OF HIS FACE AND THE GREEN ALIEN EXTENSION QUICKLY RETRACTS BACK INTO THE HUMAN FINGER AND THE SHREDDED "HUMAN" SKIN SEALS/HEALS ITSELF RIGHT BEFORE OUR EYES AS WE HEAR--

ALEC BALDWIN (V.O.) + SUPER: Hulu. An evil plot to destroy the world. Enjoy.